For each of the following, read the original passage.

For each of the following, read the original passage. Analyze the paraphrased version. List the weaknesses in relation to what you have learned about plagiarism and the use of references. Then write an improved version.

a. Original Passage

Lurking behind chartjunk is contempt both for the information and for the audience. Chartjunk promoters imagine that numbers and details are boring, dull, and tedious, requiring ornament to enliven. Cosmetic decoration, which frequently distorts the data, will never salvage an underlying lack of content. If the numbers are boring, then you’ve got the wrong numbers. Credibility vanishes in clouds of chartjunk; who would trust a chart that looks like a video game? 32

Paraphrased Passage Chartjunk creators hold the information they are conveying and their audience in contempt because they believe that statistical details are dull, unimaginative, and tedious and need to be spruced up with decorations. Purely ornamental design elements distort the data and cannot cover up a lack of content. If the statistics are boring, then they are the wrong statistics. Chartjunk kills credibility. Readers cannot trust a
chart that looks like a video game.

b. Original Passage

Developing casual online game titles can be much less risky than trying to create a game that runs on a console such as an Xbox. Casual games typically cost less than $200,000 to produce, and production cycles are only six months to a year. There’s no shelf space, packaging, or CD production to pay for. Best of all, there’s more room for innovation. 33 Paraphrased Passage The development of casual online games offers less risk than creating games running on Xbox and other consoles. Usually, casual games are cheaper, costing under $200,000 to create and 6 to 12 months to produce. Developers save on shelf space, packaging, and CD production too. Moreover, they have more freedom to innovate.

c. Original Passage

the collapse in the cost of computing has made cellular communication economically viable. Worldwide, one in two new phone subscriptions is cellular. The digital revolution in telephony is most advanced in poorer countries because they have been able to skip the outdated technological step of relying on landlines.

Paraphrased Passage

The drop in computing costs now makes cellular communication affordable around the world. In fact, one out of every two new phones is cellular. The digital revolution in cellular telephones is developing faster in poorer countries because they can skip the outdated

 

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